Tuesday, February 24, 2015

A View Of A Hero

I respect our military. In the airport I often thank our service folks for their volunteer duty. I am proud they work for us. They sacrifice a portion of their lives. They become an asset of the government and forego their own interests for a period of time. I applaud them. Now, I must reflect on another hero. Those who are involuntarily assigned a battle they did not wish to partake. A battle that might disable them, strip them of their vanity, and eliminate their drive and will. This fight comes with dangerous injections and sometimes violent repercussions. This fight reigns supreme inside their bodies and wages war in a way that cannot be fathomed by the individual, reasoned by their inner circle, nor clearly identified by the medical community as to an outcome. Cancer brings tanks to a knife fight, and we, as humans, attempt to build warheads to aggressively defend our health. These wars are won and lost routinely, but never in vain. These wars are fought in the battlefields of living rooms, drives to the store, trips to the oncologist, and alone in the darks of the mind of those inflicted. Cancer is a bitch-whore on the second floor making noise in the middle of the night. Something you wish you could get rid of but haven't found the path to do so yet. Cancer remains a constant reminder in my life that life is precious. Live how you wish, and be who you mean to be, for it may be short. Don't settle for what is 'just OK' but rather take life by the horns and ride it through the years. For my friends I know who are in the fight right now, please dig deep and rely on me to assist you when you feel there is nothing more you can do. I will be here for you. I know you are strong and amazing and a power that can overcome. I am sorry you are in this position, but I am confident you are the person that can win. Bless you Matt & Brandie. We are here for you and fighting in spirit every day. You are my heroes.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

New Group Calls It Out On The Carpet

A newly formed advocacy group was recently formed in the northwest to support the outdated carpet in the PDX airport. The newly formed PDXCAGUACT (Portland Carpet Advocacy Group United Against Carpet Terrorism) aims to bring awareness to the horrible plight of the seemingly aged Portland airport carpet. Sadly, the carpet has been ripped from it’s home like a refugee in the third world, creating massive hysteria and discomfort for 7 people in the northwest and some news outlets. In an effort to identify why the carpet has become the target of what is being described as the worst case of floor covering terrorism in recent history, we asked some folks at the Port of Portland to describe the hostile action. Johnny Highflier, who identified himself as a Port associate twice removed but still remotely related to the incident, stated “This carpet makes no sense anymore. It is dirty, aging, and hideous to the eye. It has created so much displeasure it has to go.” A spokesman from PDXCAGUACT countered with, “This carpet has a cultural significance that cannot be measured by microns of dirt and bodily fluids under UV. This carpet inspired me to become a dog trainer, and many more are devastated at the treatment it is receiving. Floor coverings just keep getting stepped on, and that’s not fair.” As of today crews are actively replacing the carpet, with get this - more ugly carpet. News of the switch to the new and improved ugly carpet had the PDXCAGUACT in a tizzy, not knowing what to do with it’s campaign as it seems to be losing coverage in news channels it once dominated for one newscast. However turbulent the situation, the new carpet is taking the situation as expected. When asked how it was feeling about replacing it’s predecessor, it had no comment.

As the old carpet is removed we can only speculate that the PDXCAGUACT will be forced to retire the supporting Facebook page and assorted useless merchandise it created for future landfill use. As always, we’ll keep you updated here as to the status of all parties. Oh, and Keep Portland Weird.